What’s the first impression people get each time you walk in a room or get on a call? I was on a conference call last week and my dear friend and business partner, Jenell, brought up the question “What does your energy say about you?” It is a GREAT question and I thought it would be a great thing to write about!
We all do it. We all have those little voices that speak to us immediately when we are summing up a situation or a person. Someone walks in the room…. whether it’s in our office, a social gathering, or home… and their energy speaks to us. Do the voices say “WOW! Get me closer to that person!” ….or do the voices ask “DO I want to know that person or be around them?” OR worst yet….do the little voices say “AVOID…AVOID…RUN AND HIDE!!”
I can think of several friends or acquaintances I have who just light up a room when they walk in. I feel good when I am around them and I love associating with them.
There are two sides to the AVOID- AVOID energy. There is the person who walks in and is the one you know to be SO negative about EVERYTHING…. You say “WOW, the sun is shining so bright” and they say “yeh, but it’s going to rain tomorrow”. They delight in attempting to zap your energy. The sad thing is, sometimes they don’t even know they are doing it. Can’t they just say “yes, it is and I am going to enjoy every moment of it!!”? The other side of AVOID-AVOID is the person who is SO obnoxious and in your face you want to hide from them.
Ask yourself these questions about 3 different scenarios – Office, Home, Social Gatherings – you might find they are different for all three when they shouldn’t be:
- When I walk in to the room, do I walk in with confidence, standing tall with a smile on my face?
- Do I walk in slumped down and slouchy or with a grumble on my face? (Who wants to be around people who grumble and complain all the time?)
- Does my body language send a strong message – opened or closed?
- Do I stand with my arms crossed in front of me as a block?
- Are my arms open and my smile genuine?
- Do I send off the snob message “I am too good to be here with YOU!”?
- Do I make connecting eye contact and let people know I hear them?
- Do I look at people with that “what do you want now look” or “I don’t have time for you look”?
- Do people feel open to come in to talk with me in my office or to approach me at a gathering?
- Do I intimidate people and if so, what is it I am doing?
- Do I always bring out the negative “what ifs”?
- Do I bring the problems or the solutions to a conversation/meeting?
People follow leaders who are positive, inspiring and open. If you are trying to lead a team – and your team could be your family members – you need to really ask yourself the questions above. Better yet, ask those closest to you to answer these questions about you. We don’t always see ourselves as others see us.
What does your energy say about you? Can you share any stories of encounters with positive, neutral or negative energy people and how it affected you? Are you the positive energy in the room or conversation or do you bring the negative to the table?
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